But What Will People Say? : Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures

A deeply personal, paradigm-shifting book from therapist, writer, and founder of @browngirltherapy that rethinks traditional therapy and self-care models, creating much-needed space for those left out of the narrative

Sahaj Kaur Kohli grew up knowing exactly what it means to straddle multiple countries and cultures at once. As a child of immigrants, discussing mental health in her family and community would be routinely met with that all-encompassing question: But what will people say? Yet she found herself plagued by questions of her own: Can I establish my own values while embracing where I come from? Is prioritizing my mental health really rejecting my culture? How do I set boundaries and care for myself when family means everything? When she turned to therapy, she also consistently found the same gaps in the mental health world—leaving her to ask, like so many other children of immigrants: what about us?

While today’s conversations are becoming increasingly open and combat shame and stigma, our mental health models remain largely euro-centric and focused on individuality. Through her work as a writer and now therapist, Sahaj has sought to challenge these long-held models, and create an inclusive space where everyone can truly heal. It took deep personal reflection, therapy, and a whole lot of trial and error for Sahaj to find her own way to understanding and acceptance, and to grow where she’s planted. Here, she shows us how to get there, all the while reminding us that personal healing is inextricably connected to collective healing.

But What Will People Say? elegantly weaves together personal narrative, anecdotal analysis, and comprehensive research, while offering advice on everything from navigating generational trauma and uncovering the lies we’re told (or tell ourselves), to breaking down stigmas around therapy and celebrating cultural duality. Democratizing and decolonizing the way we think about mental health and self-help, Sahaj’s incredible work is nothing short of a revolution.