Death of an Ordinary Man

Now I understand there are no ordinary lives – that every death is the end of a single event in time’s history: an event so improbable as to be miraculous, and irreplaceable in every particular.

Sarah Perry''s father-in-law, David, died at home nine days after a cancer diagnosis and having previously been in the good health. The speed of his illness outstripped that of the NHS and social care, so the majority of nursing fell to Sarah and her husband. They witnessed what happens to the body and spirit, hour by hour, as it approaches death.

Death of an Ordinary Man is an unstinting account of death by cancer, a reportage into the daily experience of caring, an exploration of the structural conditions of dying in the UK, and most importantly a testament to David’s life, that of an ordinary man.

Unflinching and profoundly moving, Sarah Perry confronts the taboo surrounding death and shows us how to confront all of the terror and beauty that comes with the end of life - and how the saddest thing she has ever seen is also the best thing she''s ever done.

There was relief, and there was loss it was the saddest thing we d ever seen, and the best thing we had ever done.

Sarah Perry s father-in-law David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in November 2022. Nine days later, he died. This extraordinary book recounts the last days of David s life, and what it took for Sarah and her husband Rob to care for him at home until the end.

David s suburban bungalow becomes, for these nine days, the whole world. All around them are the details of an ordinary man s life the armchair worn to his shape, an empty pair of slippers, a calendar of that year s birthdays nearly all marked off.

Their sole concern is David s suffering and how to alleviate it. Health and care professionals come and go, by turns devastatingly brisk or stunningly humane. Friends help where they can but mostly, they are alone with David. They bathe and clean and dress him, comfort him if he cries out in pain, sit with him as he wakes and sleeps, talk to him, sing to him, pray with him. Day by day and hour by hour, they witness what happens to the body and spirit as death approaches.

Care and dying affect us all whether we care for others or are cared for ourselves. Death of an Ordinary Man is an unforgettable account of this universal aspect of life. It is a book that gives us courage to accept the reality of death and shows us what a privilege it is to be able to accompany someone through the last days of their life.