Justice is Blind - and Her Dog Just Peed in My Cornflakes

Shortlisted for the 2000 Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour

From "surviving ground zero in the nuclear family," to "feeling fear at the Fall Fair," to "quelling a taste for champagne on a tap-water budget," Gordon Kirkland writes about survival - survival in the ''90s, that is.

Looking back, Kirkland acknowledges his life has always been filled with laughter. He comes from a family who was like "Monty Python''s Flying Circus meets Rowan & Martin''s Laugh-in." It''s no surprise then, that he was able to meet tragedy in his life - three debilitating car accidents within four years - with determination, courage and good humour. In the years following his accidents, laughter helped Kirkland cope with the stress and pain of his slow and difficult recovery, and the knowledge that he would not be able to walk again without the assistance of forearm crutches. Laughter also gave him the inspiration he needed to start writing stories about his own life, and the desire to share them with others.

Just five years after becoming a syndicated columnist, Kirkland published his first collection of humour. Justice is Blind--And Her Dog Just Peed in My Cornflakes contains nearly four years of the best of Kirkland''s newspaper column "At Large." Here is his uproarious and hilarious outlook on such celebrated topics as "married bliss" (not always an oxymoron), legal interpretations for parents of teenagers ("readers will be pleased to know that asking a teenager to set and/or clear the table doesn''t constitute an affront to their civil liberties"), the habits of "commutus obnoxiousi," (more commonly known as Other Drivers), and the difficulties of buying a simple cup of coffee ("the plain old run-of-the-mill cup of coffee should be put on the endangered species list"). Always honest, always irreverent, Kirkland strives to give his readers the opportunity to laugh with him, at him, and hopefully, at themselves.