Overheard in Dublin

Girl: ‘Giz a kiss.’ Bloke: ‘Let me swally me phlegm first.’ — Two aul dears queuing for the no. 27 bus. Just caught the end of the conversation: Old dear #1: ‘Sure whoaya tellin. De kids dees days is terrible bold.’ Old dear #2: ‘And ye know it’s not de parents I blame, it’s the mudders an fadders.’ — Country girl gets on no. 16 bus and asks driver how much is the fare. Driver replies, ‘Where are you going?’ Country girl says, ‘To get my hair done!’ — While visiting the Mater Hospital, hearing an old man complaining about the current conditions in hospital and being kept in a unisex environment: Old Man (to his daughter): ‘I’m 92 years old and here I am being left on a bed in a corridor with all these other patients, and to make it worst it’s bisexual!’ — Heard a girl answer her phone in the waiting room of Holles Street Maternity Hospital: ‘Well, tell me, am I an Auntie or an Uncle?’ — D4 girl at Lansdowne Road for the All Blacks match. Just as the All Blacks begin the Haka, one girl says, ‘Oh, my God, are they doing a dance?’