Selfish : Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth

In this provocative memoir, one woman discovers that after years spent prioritizing other people’s needs (her husband, their business, their children) over her own, she has reached a threshold she is ready to cross: putting herself first.

“Selfish is a revelation—a brave reminder that choosing yourself isn’t betrayal, it’s truth-telling. Kerry Docherty writes with clarity and grace about what it means to come home to your own life. . . . A must-read.”—Kate Baer, #1 New York Times bestselling author of What Kind of Woman: Poems

What does it mean to be good? What are the consequences of doing what we want? Who determines what is selfish?

These are the questions that haunted Kerry Docherty—the co-founder of Faherty brand, mother of two, and wife—as she realized she was giving away too much of herself: to a marriage with her college sweetheart, to the fast-paced family startup, and to a growing household that demanded attention she didn’t always want to give. Determined to feel seen—as an artist, activist, poet, romantic—she began to steal simple moments for herself, replacing her to-do lists with poems, pushing the business towards the things she cared about, and widening her circle of creative friends. However, as she leaned more deeply into her passions and purpose, she found herself veering into an ambiguous relationship with a musician, a potentially destructive direction that would seriously test her marriage.

With incisive observation, biting humor, and searing honesty, Selfish details Kerry’s twisting, sometimes conflicted journey to self-understanding. It chronicles her efforts to reconcile capitalism with her own heart’s desire, her complicated family dynamics, her struggles with motherhood, and her efforts to rediscover parts of herself buried under other people’s expectations. Her example invites us to demand to be seen, do what we need to do, and dare to put ourselves first—and shows how doing so can actually be a gift to others. Selfish is both a love letter to the Self, and an unapologetic call to action for women everywhere to meet their own needs.