So Lonely : Our Desire for Community And What Drives Us Apart

A cerebral, intricate study of loneliness from an acclaimed Scandinavian writer.

“Inspiring and original.”—Johann Hari, New York Times bestselling author of Lost Connections and Stolen Focus

A deeply personal, philosophical meditation on the global phenomenon of loneliness.

Loneliness increases your chance of early death by 26 percent, places your body under extreme physical stress, can lead to depression and anxiety, and is so pervasive that it''s been recognized as an epidemic in the United States. But what defines loneliness, and is it true that we are lonelier now than we have ever been?

Simultaneously intimate and impeccably researched, So Lonely recounts acclaimed Norwegian writer Hilde Østby’s own questions about and struggles with the condition, and her many conversations with researchers, artists, and journalists who have looked closely at the myriad faces of loneliness and the ways it can be overcome. She speaks with experts in neuroscience, psychology, and sociology about the factors that cause us to be lonely: from racism, toxic masculinity, poverty, and violence, to technology, conspiracy theories, and trauma. She also turns to literature, including the Moomin novels by revered Norwegian children’s author Tove Jansson. As she unmasks the many faces of loneliness, she also examines its impact, returning to events like Norway''s 2011 Utøya terrorist attack as examples of collective traumas whose causes and effects are permeated with loneliness.

For readers of The Lonely City and Languishing, So Lonely is a moving, essential book about the costs to all when some are pushed out, and also about the incredible capabilities of human beings—how resilient we are, and how the restorative power of community allows us to thrive.