Sober Secure : An Attachment-Based Guide to Dating, Sex, and Love in Recovery

An attachment-first path to lasting recovery: build the love, safety, and belonging that keep you sober—and help your relationships thrive

Practical, body-based tools for dating, intimacy, and partnership in sobriety

Recovery isn’t just about staying sober—it’s about learning to love and be loved securely. Sober Secure reframes recovery through attachment, giving people in sobriety the practical tools to heal early relational wounds, regulate the nervous system, and create the connections that sustain a joyful, durable recovery.

Nina Pick, MA, integrative somatic counselor and author of The Mind-Body Guide to the Twelve Steps, draws on attachment science, polyvagal theory, and somatic therapy while honoring the strengths of Twelve Step communities. She offers vivid examples in clear language and step-by-step practices for navigating intimacy, conflict, and repair on Twelve Step and other recovery paths.

You’ll learn to:

• Spot your attachment patterns and move toward earned secure attachment in recovery
  
• Heal childhood and intergenerational attachment trauma
  
• Regulate your nervous system with simple somatic tools that make connection feel safer
  
• Trade isolating self-reliance for healthy interdependence without losing your agency
  
• Date with pacing and clarity; cultivate pleasure and passion; and deepen partnership
  
• Transform the chronic shame and "not-enough" beliefs that fuel isolation and relapse risk
  

Warm, accessible, and immediately useful, Sober Secure is a loving companion for building the safety, belonging, and embodied presence that let your sobriety—and your life—fully bloom.