Tell Peter I Love Him : What happens when boys are taught not to cry

Tell Peter I Love Him is a searing, contemporary memoir that speaks directly to the crisis of masculinity now shaping public debate in Britain and beyond.At its centre is Peter O’Shea, whose childhood was defined by trauma: his mother’s suicide when he was seven, followed by years in the care system that left him angry, addicted and violent. His story traces a working-class life shaped by neglect and silence, where emotional vulnerability was neither taught nor permitted — a pattern still visible today in knife crime, online radicalisation, and the growing influence of hyper-masculine figures on social media.Against the odds, Peter rebuilt his life. He overcame addiction, became a father of five, and rose from cleaning toilets at a supermarket to becoming a senior executive at Barclays Bank. But in midlife, a devastating family truth surfaced: one that driven his mother to suicide. The revelation forced a reckoning — between rage and repair.Through an extraordinary engagement with EMDR trauma therapy, Peter confronts the roots of violence, shame and inherited pain, and emerges with a new understanding of masculinity grounded in accountability, compassion and connection. He ultimately leaves the corporate world to found a youth charity supporting vulnerable young people at risk of following the same path.Written with urgency and moral clarity, Tell Peter I Love Him combines personal testimony with acute social insight. It will appeal to readers of trauma memoir, social policy, mental health, and books exploring modern masculinity, class and recovery — and offers a rare, hopeful answer to one of the most pressing cultural questions of our time.