Trying : A Memoir

Everyone loves a story about people who beat the odds. But what about those who didn't? In this candid and intimate memoir, Caldwell confronts the irresolution and uncertainty of those denied their deepest desire to become a mother and discovers how, even in the depths of grief, new pleasures and possibilities can be found....

Over the years that Chloe Caldwell had been married and hoping to conceive a child, she''d read everything she could find on infertility. But no memoir or message board reflected her experience; for one thing, most stories ended with in vitro fertilization, a baby or both. She wanted to offer something different. Caldwell began a book. She imagined a selective journal about her experience coping with stasis and uncertainty. Is it time to quit coffee, find a new acupuncturist, get another blood test? Her questions extended to her job at a clothing boutique and to her teaching and writing practice. Why do people love equating publishing books with giving birth? What is the right amount of money to spend on pants or fertility treatments? How much trying is enough? She ignored the sense that something else in her life was wrong that was not on the page... until she extracted a confession from her husband. Broken by betrayal but freed from domesticity, Caldwell felt reawakened, to long-buried desires, to her queer identity, to pleasure and possibility. She kept writing, making sense of her new reality as it took shape. With the candour, irreverence, and heart that have made Caldwell''s work beloved, Trying intimately captures a self in a continuous process of becoming - and the mysterious ways that writing informs that process.