Vampire Planet

Vampire Planet is an eclectic, witty, and often moving New & Selected collection of poems from a writer whom former US Poet Laureate Billy Collins calls “the wisest, most entertaining wise guy in American poetry.”

Ron Koertge wants to do nothing but delight. Armed with wit and brains, he introduces readers to Dr. Frankenstein's frustrated fiancée and gives an alternate reading to the Bible story about Lot's nameless wife. He rues the loss of a favorite  pair of  underpants, attends a bachelor party where Mr. Magoo makes an appearance, and suggests what cheerleaders will be like in the future. Bashful, one of the seven dwarfs, spills the beans about Snow White. Death comes home from a business trip to his favorite meal, and Epeius—who designed the Trojan horse—turns out to be a better architect than a warrior. Saint George muses about girls, and on her honeymoon Mrs. Mark Trail wishes her husband would take his eyes off that moose get down to business. In a sestina, Ron probes the psyches of the Hardy boys. A half dozen charming couplets tell about an experience at a local car wash, and a domestic reveals the secret life of clothes. Like Reverend Ike and John Lennon said, "Whatever gets you through the night"—this book will do that and carry you right into the next day. Guaranteed.