What''s Up Doc?

For Dr Hilary Jones, the question ''What''s up doc?'' has been asked of him ever since he qualified as a doctor at the Royal Free hospital in London over thirty years ago.

As a junior medic patients used to ask him ''What''s up?'' when he prodded their bellies for signs of appendicitis. On the GMTV sofa presenters ask him ''What''s up?'' with the latest actress who has developed the typical tell-tale signs of anorexia nervosa. In the tabloid newspapers he''s asked to comment on what''s up with the premier league footballer who purports to suffer from sex addiction.On the radio he''s asked ''What''s up?'' with the health of society in general, suffering as it does from epidemics of obesity and binge drinking.

On a more everyday basis, in the GP surgery people ask him about unexplained lumps in their neck, or whether a pigmented mole is suspicious. Colleagues at work stop him in the corridor and say ''Can I just ask you about my child''s leukaemia'' or ''My mum''s dementia?'' At dinner parties people ask him about their haemorrhoids, or in pubs on the various merits of vasectomy. He''s even been approached by complete strangers in dimly lit streets eager to hear his take on methadone and whether or not the NHS should freely supply it.

And they ask him what Lorraine Kelly is really like, of course...